My personal blog got taken away today or yesterday. I guess it has something to do with the fact that something's been happening to my gmail account. My theater teacher told me in class today that my gmail has been spitting out emails with Viagra ads! And I know for a fact that I've sent no such things to anyone! And when I was supposed to log in earlier today it said that my account was unavailable. So I guess they think that I've violated the terms or something and since my blog is connected to that email account that one got deleted to. Oh well then I remembered this little baby that I haven't been taken care of enough. Sorry Ella and Hanna! I will from now on do better! Because I know a lot of ppl read my blog. Or have started to read it!
So...my thoughts for the day or for the last week actually has been, well let's just say that they could have been better. Nothing big and definatley nothing to worry about! It's just the same old Frieda thinking bad and putting herself down and comparing to other ppl. U know the drill. So yesterday Linnea brought it to my attention, not in a bad or angry way. No, in the friendly concerned kinda way. We were sitting at on the grass on Campus and talking and she said that she thinks it's sad that such a wonderful, nice, kind and beautiful girl like me should feel so bad about herself. Because I really don't need or have to! And I know this deep down, I think. Or maybe not. See there I go again. Well. It's just that it's there buried deep under my skin within my soul. And it's not just something you "get rid" of in one day. But as she said it, it made me start thinking that maybe ppl are picking up on it more than I actually realize. And even if I feel that I'm in a little low period at the moment, concerning career and other stuff, I need to develop a thicker skin! Otherwise I'm, never gonna make it or even have the guts to try and make it. And ppl, especially guys in this matter will not want to have a girl that thinks like that about herself. So I decided that today is gonna be the first day of the rest of my life. And I'm gonna do what Paul, my acting teacher suggested, shift focus and try to beat those demons inside and turn them into something useful! Oh, Paul and Jocelyn really are my inspirations and kind of like two mentors. I've already told them that once, but I think I'm gonna tell them again. Cuz they always makes me feel good. Even if it's just a little thing. And that's something that I appreciate. I'm gonna give them something "little" last day of class. I think they're gonna like it, or I hope they're gonna like it! I can't tell u here what it is, cuz someone might read and tell them...ha ha.
Well I can't promise that I'll succeed with this new-Frieda thing instantly, but I'll definatley try! I actually went to the Student Health Center, the counseling center today and booked an appointment for Monday. I just want to ease my chest a little bit, get a few things out of my system and tell a complete stranger about me feelings and thoughts just to see what they think. U don't have to have the worlds biggest problem or issues in order to go and talk to someone.
Ah well, there were more stuff I was gonna tell u guys, but I'll leave that for tomorrow. I think I'm gonna hop in to bed soon. It's getting kinda late.
Take care my friends and we'll talk soon!
XoXo - Frieda K*
Newport Beach Film Festival - At Hästens store at Fashion Island...Pre mingle!
